Where cybercrime shops every day like it’s black friday¶

The digital underworld’s shopping scene has undergone a glow-up—or maybe a go-dark-up. With law enforcement breathing down their necks, cybercriminals have fled the Dark Web’s back alleys for the neon-lit convenience of Telegram channels, where stolen data and malware are traded as casually as Pokémon cards. Why? Because nothing says “discreet criminal enterprise” like a messaging app your grandma also uses to forward cat memes.

But don’t think the Dark Web is out of business—it’s just the vintage option now. Places like InTheBox (a one-stop malware mart for mobile mayhem), 2Easy (think eBay, but for your stolen bank logins), and Russian Market (which, despite the name, is as English as a Big Mac) are still thriving. There, you can buy anything from stolen credit cards to pre-hacked RDP servers—complete with Yelp-style reviews like “Great seller! Creds worked 3/5 times!”

The real innovation? Cybercrime-as-a-Subscription. Forget buying malware outright—why not rent a botnet or subscribe to a ransomware toolkit? It’s the Netflix-ification of digital crime: pay monthly, cancel anytime (though good luck unsubscribing from a hacker’s spam list).

Bottom line: Whether it’s Telegram’s “Malware Deals Here!” groups or the Dark Web’s OG marketplaces, business is booming. The only difference? Now you don’t even need Tor—just a phone and poor life choices.