Where cybercrime shops every day like it’s black friday¶

The digital underworld’s shopping scene has undergone a glow-up, or maybe a go-dark-up. With law enforcement breathing down their necks, cybercriminals have fled the Dark Web’s back alleys for the neon-lit convenience of Telegram channels, where stolen data and malware are traded as casually as Pokémon cards. Why? Because nothing says “discreet criminal enterprise” like a messaging app your grandma also uses to forward cat memes.

But don’t think the Dark Web is out of business, it’s just the vintage option now. Places like InTheBox (a one-stop malware mart for mobile mayhem), 2Easy (think eBay, but for your stolen bank logins), and Russian Market (which, despite the name, is as English as a Big Mac) are still thriving. There, you can buy anything from stolen credit cards to pre-hacked RDP servers, complete with Yelp-style reviews like “Great seller! Creds worked 3/5 times!”

The real innovation? Cybercrime-as-a-Subscription. Forget buying malware outright, why not rent a botnet or subscribe to a ransomware toolkit? It’s the Netflix-ification of digital crime: pay monthly, cancel anytime (though good luck unsubscribing from a hacker’s spam list).

Bottom line: Whether it’s Telegram’s “Malware Deals Here!” groups or the Dark Web’s OG marketplaces, business is booming. The only difference? Now you don’t even need Tor, just a phone and poor life choices.