Facilitator notes for teaching digital safety in the context of IPA¶

This page supports anyone delivering IPA-SIEM training or digital safety workshops to survivors of intimate partner abuse. Even if participants have little or no technical knowledge, they can still understand digital risks and take control—if we teach it the right way.

The goal is not to make them cybersecurity experts. The goal is to help them feel confident in small, powerful actions: noticing strange behaviour, asking good questions, and understanding their options.

Mindset for facilitators¶

Survivors are already navigating danger and complexity daily. You are not “teaching down”—you are offering another layer of skill to someone already managing risk.

It is important to empower, not overwhelm. Keep explanations simple and offer tools, not tasks. Respect their expertise; they are experts on their abuser’s habits, and it is important to listen when they say “That wouldn’t be safe.” Avoid shame; if they used insecure apps or missed a red flag, that is not failure. It is survival.

Explaining digital risk without fear¶

It can be tempting to go full hacker-drama—“Your phone is compromised!” But fear shuts people down. Instead, use calm, observational language. For example, “Sometimes apps do things we don’t expect, like sending location updates.” Normalise privacy tools by framing them as common and empowering. “A lot of people use apps like Signal—not because they’re in danger, but because they want control over who sees their chats.”

Rather than saying “It’s dangerous to use Messenger,” say: “Some apps share more info than people realise. This one here gives you the keys to the conversation.” In the ‘Safer Communication’ workshop, safer apps were introduced by linking them to control rather than secrecy. Survivors already monitor risk constantly; privacy tools support that, not replace it.

Checking for understanding without pressure¶

Survivors may be hyper-alert to right or wrong answers, especially if they have been criticised or gaslit. So avoid quizzes.

Instead, use exploratory questions such as “What would you do if someone you didn’t trust asked to borrow your phone?”, “When would be a safe time for you to change that app?”, or “What does ‘private’ mean to you on your device?”

Let them teach you. Use that to reinforce their agency. For example, after showing how to extract logs in the ‘Digital Evidence’ workshop, you might ask: “Where might you keep this backup so no one else finds it—but you can still access it?”

When not to act immediately¶

Changing digital habits too quickly can raise abuser suspicion. Survivors often use tactics such as delaying updates, pretending they “don’t know how to use” an app, or leaving decoy messages.

So never insist, for example, “You need to uninstall that tracking app right now!” Instead, say: “If you ever need to remove that app safely, I can show you a method that doesn’t leave obvious traces.”

In the IPA-SIEM deployment how-tos, it was recommended to encourage survivors to use new devices or safe phones in parallel before retiring compromised ones. Quietly shifting routines is safer than sudden reversals.

Coaching without telling¶

Use modelling rather than lectures. Language such as “Here’s a trick I’ve seen someone use…”, “One thing I’ve tried myself is…”, or “You don’t have to use this, but some people find it helpful” can go a long way.

This approach keeps the advice optional, friendly, and flexible. Let them imagine how the idea might fit their own life.

Final tips for workshop success¶

Use analogies. Logs can be described as breadcrumbs. A VPN is like a disguise for your data trail. A backup is a copy of your diary in a locked drawer.

Be honest about limitations. No tool is perfect. Say: “This reduces risk, not eliminates it.”

Leave space for silence. Survivors may need a moment to think, or may be watching your tone for signs of judgement.

Be flexible. Do not rush. If one person is stuck on Signal setup, and the rest want to talk about iCloud leaks, pivot accordingly, offering to come back to the Signal setup later.

Closing thought¶

This work is not about tools. It is about trust.

When survivors feel safe with you, they will try things you suggest—sometimes long after the workshop ends. They will remember how you made them feel: respected, supported, not judged.

“It’s okay not to change everything today. You have options. And I’ll walk with you as you explore them.”